If you are in crisis, how to get help

Sep 1

2 min read

If you are in immediate danger of harming yourself or being harmed, get help now. Use local emergency services. Stay with someone if you can. This page points to help. It will not discuss methods, plans, or how to hide a crisis. Unite Gay Network is a community of gay and bisexual men. We want you alive tomorrow. We are not a hospital and we are not a substitute for one.

Immediate danger

Call your local emergency number. In many countries that is 112. In the United States it is 911. In the United Kingdom it is 999. If you cannot speak, emergency SMS or a friend calling for you is still an emergency. If you are being assaulted or someone else is in danger, that is also an emergency.

If police in your area are not safe for a gay or bisexual man, go to emergency medical care if you can, or to a person who can get you there. Your safety plan has to fit your street, not a generic poster.

Helplines that can talk to LGBT adults

You want a line that will not panic at the words boyfriend, HIV, or chemsex. Examples: Switchboard LGBT+ in the UK (switchboard.lgbt), the LGBT National Hotline in the US (lgbthotline.org), and local LGBT centres that run evening phones. For suicide specifically, use a national suicide helpline where you live, and IASP's locator for people in emotional distress: https://www.iasp.info/suicidalthoughts/.

Youth helplines exist, and they are not the best fit if you are a middle-aged man. Ask for adult services. If a line is a bad fit, try the next one. You are not being difficult. You are trying to stay alive.

If the crisis is violence at home

Men can be beaten, stalked, financially trapped, or raped by other men. That is domestic abuse. Local emergency services, specialist LGBT domestic-violence services, and Domestic abuse in relationships between men are the path. Do not ask the person harming you to translate this article.

After the emergency

Follow-up is allowed: a clinician, a therapist who understands gay and bisexual men's lives, a friend who will sit in a kitchen. Read Mental health for gay and bisexual men when you can. Unite Gay Network Support can help with the site, not with a crisis. When you want community on an ordinary day, join. Right now, get a human on the phone or in the room.

Disclaimer*

This article was originally published in English. While we have translated it to make the content more accessible to our international members, slight variations may exist between the translated and original versions. For the most accurate and authoritative wording, please refer to the English edition. We appreciate your understanding as we continue to improve our multilingual support.